Finally got the time and wherewithall to post a conclusion!
Now listen up, coz it's
good!
Firstly for the short-of-attention span - tl;dr it's all fixed.
So what happened?
So I got the bike back again in July, apparently fixed, and it immediately conked out in the rain again. Nursed it home once more, and it refused to charge or even switch on again for a few days. Once I got a charge into it and dried it out, I took it down to Davant Bikes in Torquay, where I bought it from. They proceeded to have another good long look at it. And this is what happened:
Apparently the fans on the pre-2022 bikes have
no insulation on them. Known fault, it would seem, as they've since fixed it, but for some reason Zero have not issued a recall, preferring instead to fix them as and when they break down (strange decision but there we go). Unfortunately the fans are in Amsterdam or something, and not so easy to get sorted. Fortunately Zero's UK Head of Marketing was down, and in a totally awesome and unexpected move, offered to not only take my fans to Amsterdam to have them fixed/replaced with the new parts personally, but he also gave me the Zero UK Demonstrator SR/F to use while the bike was off the road!
The fan repair took several weeks - fine, I enjoyed the good weather on the demo SR/F, although because it wasn't the Premium model it only had 3kW charging so I didn't go on holiday on it as planned which was a bit rubbish. Also it didn't have heated grips, and all the ergo tweaks I made to mine, so it was a bit more painful on longer trips anyway

The summer came and went and the fans were finally installed. But then Davant said they'd tried hosing the bike down to see if they'd fixed it and ... it promptly threw a load of codes and shat itself again. So they poked and prodded and then finally must have, I dunno, done a bit of Googling and realised that the dreaded spider bus - yes you know the one - was actually to blame. So they had to order that bit, and that was a few more weeks, but that's ok, I've got their bike in the mean time and still enjoying going to work on it though it was definitely getting to "need heated grips" weather.
Finally the spider bus came and they fitted it, and hurray, for it no longer threw a wobbly when they soaked it. And for good measure, they noticed by dash had mist in it, so they replaced that under warranty too, with a posh newer one that is
way fancier looking than the old dash (apparently costs over £900 for replacement, the old dash was more like £700).
All this was done under warranty without quibbles.
So I got my bike back finally and it's as good as ever, except now it doesn't break down when it gets wet

This story is really a counterpoint to all those crappy stories about Zero customer service, dodgy dealers, unreliability, etc. that always get posted in forums. Davant Bikes have been absolutely great (thanks a lot Jonathan, if you ever read this), and Zero UK went above and beyond sorting it out, which is a very wise move on their part because it means that Zero is still right at the top of the list of Next Bike I Might Buy. (I think it was Marcus but I lost his card). I would honestly have been happy with any old crapper as a loaner in the meantime but getting an SR/F was really neat. I don't know if everyone would get this level of service from Davant or Zero but this sort of thing is why we keep coming back to the same dealers and same brands. You feel properly looked after, you know?
Shame the weather's been atrocious ever since... bah
Cas
