I can see someone trying to pull a fast one and in 4.9 years bringing their Zero in with 80,000 miles and "somehow" 1,800 extra full 0-100% charge cycles

Nice work, I'm trying to find a solution to efficiently charge various 50-72V and 90-116V lithium batteries from small solar arrays (500-800W) and then find reliable cheap inverters for these non-standard voltages.. The easiest solution might be to just reconfigure my cells for more common ranges.
For clarity, don't do the above (warranty claim joke). Zero may still honor it but powering your house has to be outside the scope of the battery warranty.